Don't Quit

Growing up, I always came across this poem:

When things go wrong as they sometimes will.
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill.
When funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about.
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out –
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

Just had a conversation with my dad about quitting-and i feel so inspired by him. Never seriously considered that my dad is so wise =) It seems that quitting is rather common within my family, with the exception of some especially my dad.

Actually that's something zq has been telling me for a long time but i sometimes refuse to admit he is right =P sorry zq...
Looking back on my life, I won't say i have regrets, but u do realise that i am not willing to try things that i may be likely to fail at. I'm afraid to fail. When i got disqualified for my canoeing finals, i told myself i will never take up canoeing again. Was that quitting?

My dad said life will never be smooth, success never comes easily. If we don't try even when it's tough and there seems to be no hope, we can never succeed. He also said if you have tried your best, and you still fail, SO WHAT? It's just failing, no big deal.

To my little sisters who are still working out their lives-the road is not smooth, but don't quit.

On the 23 Korean hostages

I know I said there will only be 1 entry on this blog, but just had my Quiet Time, and feel that I need to share these thoughts.

Yesterday 1 of the 23 Korean missionaries in Afghanistan held hostage was killed. I don't know much, only that he was a pastor and the leader of the group. This morning when I was heading for work, I suddenly had a thought after hearing a song in the car. It had a line like "All costs for Jesus". And I thought about the hostages and prayed for them. i was reminded that even if they should lose their lives, it would not be in vain. It would be for Jesus. Of course it is much easier to say than face though.

It was only when I reached the office that I heard the news about the pastor, Bae Hyung-kyu. And God reassured me, somehow, that the pastor is in a much better place now. And he will be given much honor. Like Stephen that I read about in Acts 7 today.

" But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into Heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God."
"And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, 'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.' And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, 'Lord, do not hold this sin against them.' And when he had said this, he fell asleep."

Let us keep praying for the other hostages. God is so much more powerful than any other force in this world, and He will see justice done in His way and in His time. If He could send angels to bring the apostles out of jail in Acts 5, telling them to " speak to the people all the words of this Life", how could he not do a miracle in this day and age? It is all in His control, and He will not abandon His children. Let us hold firmly to that promise, for He who promised is faithful.

Unto Him be all glory and honor and praise, forever and ever! Amen

To all the people I care about

It probably comes as a shock to many of my friends that I should start a blog. I walked into the room one day and proclaimed to my 2 sisters that I wanted to start a blog. They both stared at me in disbelief, and xuanwen's face was rather contorted. Me, who doesn't have a friendster account, who doesn't go on msn, who doesn't even read others' blogs. So i told them, i just want to write ONE entry. Xuanwen said why don't you just write an article and put it on the church YF website? I said then my non-Christian friends won't get to read it! I have ONE very important entry to write.

1 week ago, I was supposed to meet a bunch of my NTU friends for dinner on Wednesday. They're really dear friends of mine, and we call ourselves the 4some. Joey, Aaron, Ishi & I. But when something came up on Wed, i smsed them and asked if we could switch to Friday. And they all said yes, cya Friday. And i looked forward to it.

Thursday night, 28 Jun 07, I went to watch Transformers with my bf. Right as I walked into the cinema, my phone rang. Aaron was on the other end, and he was crying. So i walked out and asked him what was wrong. It took a while for him to tell me.

"Ishi killed himself"

The words didn't make sense to me right away. Perhaps I had never dreamed that I will hear words like that in my life. Perhaps I had thought my friends would always be around. Perhaps I had thought no matter how unhappy life could get, we all had the strength to keep going on...

I wanted to believe that this was a cruel joke my friends were playing on me. I thought perhaps the police got it wrong. I wanted to call Ishi and ask him myself. But all i could do was to walk back into the cinema, sink my head into my bf's shoulders and cry bitterly.

Friday was a nightmare. I woke up in a daze and had to get to work. I found out in the morning that there was not going to be a wake; he was going to be cremated that very afternoon. So Aaron, Joey, and some other friends, together with me, went to Mandai Crematorium, hoping to see Ishi one last time.

But when we arrived, all we saw was a worker there, who told us that the cremation was over. We were too late.

Too late.

These 2 words echoed through my mind for the days following. Why didn't I act earlier? Now I was too late to give Ishi a hug and tell him not to despair. Too late to go for our long-awaited trip overseas. Too late, most of all, to tell him that Jesus loves him.

"Here I go again
Talking bout the rain
Mulling over things
that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance
To tell him that You love him
Here I go again"

So I decided to set up this blog and write this post. I don't want to be too late again. I want to tell all my friends whom I care about how much God loves us. Perhaps you think I'm superstitious or too pushy. I don't care what you think about me, I just care about you and you finding a life that is meaningful, fulfiling, the life we were meant to lead-not alone, but with the creator of this world.


Most of you should know I've been a Christian for more than a decade now. God is my everything. He gives my life purpose-I don't work for money, bcos money is never enough. I don't work for stability, because there is no stability in life apart from God. Life is so fragile; it can be taken from us anytime. Some of us believe Ishi did not intend not to wake up ever again. Neither did people who were swept away by the tsunami. Or people who find themselves facing cancer before they've lived out their years. You see, there is nothing stable in this life. All we can hope for is a life beyond this.

And we do have a life beyond this. If you believe in ghosts and spirits, you should believe that we each have a soul. And our soul lives on after this life on earth. But where does our soul go? Most of us believe in heaven and hell. Some of us believe good people go to heaven.

But who is good in this world? I know I am a bad person. I mean it. Who has not lied, or cheated, or looked lustfully at someone, or been jealous, or spiteful, or hated someone? So if only good people go to heaven, I think it will be a rather empty place.

Who is good? God is. For that is the definition of God. If God is not good, he is not fit to be God. And I know God is good not because I have a big house, or pretty clothes, or an honors degree and a good job. Sure, He gave me all these. But I know He is good because He sent His only son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins.

Why did Jesus have to die for our sins?
Because " the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Rom 6:23)
We all have to be punished for wrongs we've committed in our lives. I've had many wrongs in my life. And the penalty is hell. But God, in His mercy, sent Jesus to take the penalty for you and me. So if we believe in Him and ask Him to cleanse us from our sins, "He is faithful and just to purify us from all unrighteousness".

God cares for you beyond anyone in this world can. When I am down, He comforts me. When Ishi left us, I asked God lots of questions. But He held me close and gave me a deep sense of peace and comfort. When I'm confused, I ask Him to sort me out. When I was single, God was the love of my life. When I am attached, He still is my greatest love.

And I want that for you, my friend. I hate typing, but I managed to type all of the above, because I want you to know about this very real God in my life. He is my best friend, and I want you to know Him too.

Sometime in my life, God sent me a rainbow to remind me that He loves me and that I am His. Whatever situation you may be going through now, may this song touch you. It came together with this song by Casting Crowns:

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
would choose to light the way
for my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who you are

I am a flower quickly fading
here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapour in the wind
Still you hear me when I'm calling
Lord you catch me when I'm falling
And you've told me who I am
I am yours